Ground rules are supposed to prevent dysfunction. But sometimes they don’t.
Someone dominates anyway. Two people start going at each other. Half the room checks out. The conversation spirals off-topic and nobody pulls it back.
In 20 years of facilitating meetings for organizations of every size and sector, every session I’ve led has had at least one moment where the room started to go sideways. The difference between a productive meeting and a wasted one isn’t whether dysfunction shows up — it’s whether someone in the room knows how to handle it when it does.
Here are the seven dysfunctions I see most often — and what I do about each one in real time.
1. One Person Dominates the Conversation
What it looks like: The same voice has been going for the last 10 minutes. Others have stopped trying to get a word in. Some have stopped listening entirely.
What to do: Redirect with structure, not confrontation. “Thank you — let’s hear from someone who hasn’t weighed in yet.” Or shift to a round robin where each person contributes in turn.
The key is you’re not shutting the person down — you’re opening the floor up. Most dominators aren’t trying to take over. They’re filling a vacuum that nobody else is stepping into. Give the room a structure that makes it easier for quieter voices to contribute, and the balance usually corrects itself.
2. Two People Turn the Discussion Into a Debate
What it looks like: A back-and-forth that the rest of the room is watching like a tennis match. Everyone else has mentally left the conversation.
What to do: Name it and park it. “This is clearly important to both of you. Let’s capture both perspectives and come back to it — right now we need the rest of the room’s input.“
If you let it play out, you lose the room. The other participants start checking their phones, whispering to each other, or mentally drafting their grocery list. Two people having an argument isn’t a meeting — it’s a meeting that’s been hijacked. Acknowledge the disagreement, capture it visibly, and move on. You can return to it with the full group’s input once you’ve gotten through the agenda.
3. The Room Goes Silent
What it looks like: You ask a question and get nothing. Blank stares. Shuffling papers. Someone suddenly finds their coffee very interesting.
What to do: Don’t repeat the question louder. Don’t rephrase it three times hoping someone will rescue you. Instead, give people a minute to think silently, then use pairs. “Take 60 seconds and jot down your thoughts, then turn to the person next to you and share.“
Silence usually means people need processing time, not that they have nothing to say. Some people think out loud. Others need time to organize their thoughts before they’re ready to share. If you only design your meetings for the first group, you’ll never hear from the second — and that second group often has the most thoughtful input in the room.
4. The Conversation Drifts Off-Topic
What it looks like: You’re 15 minutes into a tangent and nobody has pulled it back. The agenda is slipping. People who came prepared to discuss specific topics are getting frustrated.
What to do: Parking lot it — visibly. “This is worth discussing. I’m going to capture it here so we don’t lose it, and let’s get back to the agenda.“
The visible capture is critical. It tells the person their point matters without letting it hijack the session. If you just say “let’s get back on track” without capturing the idea, the person feels dismissed. If you write it down where everyone can see it, they feel heard — and you’ve protected the agenda. And never wrap up a meeting without clearing the parking lot, even if the resolution is simply assigning a follow-up conversation.
For more on how to use the parking lot effectively, see our guide on 20 Ground Rules for Effective Meetings.
5. Someone Disengages — Phone Out, Arms Crossed, Checked Out
What it looks like: Obvious. They’ve left the meeting without leaving the room.
What to do: Don’t call them out publicly. That creates embarrassment, not engagement. Instead, change the format. Move from full-group discussion to small groups or pairs. Give them a specific role — “Can you capture the key themes from this breakout?“
Sometimes disengagement is a signal that the format isn’t working, not that the person doesn’t care. If someone checked out after 45 minutes of listening to other people talk, the problem might not be them — it might be that the meeting design hasn’t given them a reason to participate. Change the format, and you’ll often get them back without ever having to say a word about it.
6. The Group Avoids the Hard Topic
What it looks like: Surface-level agreement. Circular conversation. Everyone being “nice” but nothing real getting said. You can feel the tension, but nobody is naming it.
What to do: Name the elephant. “I’m sensing there’s something we’re not saying out loud. What’s the thing this group is avoiding?“
This takes courage. It also takes trust — which is why ground rules like “say it in the room or don’t say it at all” and “assume positive intent” matter so much. If you’ve established those agreements at the start, you’ve given yourself permission to ask the uncomfortable question. And in my experience, the moment someone names the thing everyone is thinking but nobody is saying, the energy in the room shifts completely. The conversation goes from performative to productive in seconds.
7. Decisions Keep Getting Reopened
What it looks like: You agreed on this last week — or 20 minutes ago — and now someone is relitigating it. The group is going in circles. Progress stalls.
What to do: Hold the line. “We made this decision on March 15th. Has new information surfaced since then? If not, we’re moving forward.”
Reopening decisions without new data is one of the fastest ways to erode trust in the process. It signals to the rest of the group that decisions don’t stick — which means people stop committing to them in the first place. If someone didn’t get their preferred outcome, that’s not a reason to reopen the decision. It’s a reason to commit to the process and move on.
The ground rule “no rehashing decisions already made” exists specifically for this. If you establish it at the start, enforcing it in the moment feels natural rather than confrontational.
When to Handle It Yourself — and When to Call in Help
Most of these dysfunctions are manageable if the person running the meeting is aware of them and has a few techniques in their back pocket. That’s the whole point of this post — to give you tools you can use tomorrow.
But sometimes the dysfunction runs deeper than any single meeting. Entrenched conflict between senior leaders. A room where the power dynamics make honest conversation impossible. A high-stakes decision where the person running the meeting has a stake in the outcome and can’t stay neutral.
Those are the moments when a neutral, outside facilitator changes the game. Not because your team can’t handle tough conversations — but because some conversations need someone in the room whose only job is to protect the process.
At Vianova, we design every facilitation session around your goals, your people, and the outcome you need. Want to see how we’d approach your next meeting or retreat?
Let’s Talk (No pitch. Just a conversation to see if we’re a fit)Not ready to talk? Download our free guide: Ready to Hire a Facilitator?
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